Michael Bay Taking A Giant Shit On My Childhood

Michael Bay has signed on to direct the new "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie, and had this to say...

"When you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie," said Bay as he took the stage to discuss his new vision for the reptilian reboot. "These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable (CNN)."

Motherfucker. Then they are Mutants are they? They would be Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles. I mean did you even take 2 seconds and read the title of the move you were directing, or were you like "Ah, fuck it I got a cool idea". Damnit, I knew this would happen when I saw Platinum Dunes signed on to make this. They are the company that has produced such gems as the New Firday the 13th, which was good for the first 5 mins before turning into Hills Have Eyes except with Jason, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, which I hear is just terrible.

Just keep to the script. Turtles, slime, comedy, Splinter, pizza, The Foot, Shredder, Casey Jones.

With this news and the news they may make a Ghostbusters WITHOUT Bill Murray I have lost all hope for my childhood remakes.